The Problem with Melania Trump . . .

 {1}. . . is not that she’s an Eastern European immigrant (as was Donald Trump’s first wife, Ivana).  Although Trump’s preference for sexy young women born behind the Iron Curtain adds an extra level of odd to his fulminations against today’s immigrants and to his predilections for border walls, the candidate’s supporters seem impervious to his positional, ideological, and just plain logical contradictions.  Maybe they even can excavate obscure consistencies: Trump evidently admires Vladimir Putin, so why wouldn’t he admire Eastern bloc women?  And after all, these women are white – just ask David Duke, KKK grand poo-poo and recent advocate of Donald Trump because of his championship of ‘European Americans.’

[Ivana Trump and Donald Trump]

{2} . . . is not that, as a model, she was photographed in revealing lingerie and provocative postures.  One might have expected that her previous media exposure would have disturbed a good percentage of evangelical family values voters, but obviously it has not. Further, the rest of us cannot comment unconflictedly on how this part of her career might shadow her possible role as first lady: that could be seen as slut-shaming or the politically correct equivalent of such.  And we all know how much the Trump campaign trades on trashing ‘political correctness’ (for most us, that would just be thoughtful and respectful speech, but anyway . . .).  So Hillary Clinton’s undergraduate paper on Saul Alinsky continues to haunt her, and Melania Trump’s long career as salacious eye candy means nothing.

[Melania Trump modeling lingerie.]

{3}. . . is not that she could be the little picture explaining the phrase ‘trophy wife’ in any illustrated dictionary.  One might have thought that Trump’s being married three times – at least once (Marla Maples) to a woman with whom he was carrying on a fairly public affair when he was still legally tied to wife number one – would upset some potential supporters (see point {2}, above).  One would be wrong.  Saint Ronald Reagan broke the can’t-be-divorced political bromide; Bill Clinton broke the (previously much broken but little publicized) can’t-have-seedy-affairs political bromide; Newt Gingrich, in his 2008 run, broke the it’s-disqualifying-to-have-shameless-affairs-when-current-wife-is-grievously-ill bromide (only to be surpassed by the supremely slimy John Edwards, whose spousal crappiness was fully exposed only after he was out of the presidential picture).  Hey!  It’s aspirational!  What guy wouldn’t want a smoking hot 24-years-younger-than-he-is woman draped at his side?  Particularly when she wears low heels so, at 5’11” she doesn’t make him look (gasp) small?

[Marla Maples became the second Mrs. Donald Trump.  Ms. Maples was only 5’8” tall, so obviously the Donald had to trade her in for a taller model.  However, Ivana Trump was 6’0” tall, so go figure.]

So what is the problem with Melania?  After hearing her ‘interview’ with Mika Brzezinski on Morning Joe last week, and after a bit of research about Melania Trump’s earlier albeit infrequent interviews (such as those with The View and Vanity Fair), I fear that – if she becomes First Lady – she’ll set back this country’s stumbling march toward women’s equality in subtle but potentially devastating ways. 

[Hillary Clinton suffering public humiliation during the Monica Lewinsky scandal.  Whether or not she stood by her man, she was roundly criticized – and still is being criticized today, often by young women who have no conception about the difficulties of being caught in a generational garotte between ‘being all you can be’ and doing almost anything to keep a marriage together.]

[Michelle Obama is First Lady in the age of mean memes and internet crudeness.  Through absolutely no fault of her own, she’s been a victim of Obama derangement syndrome, misogynist-style.]

Being First Lady means being a female role model, whether one wants to be or not.  Those of us of a certain age remember well how Hillary Clinton, an accomplished professional and an undeniably smart woman, was trashed from her time as the Arkansas Governor’s wife to her time as First Lady to now . . . for being professional and smart (and human).  All of us should know the vegetable slings and fitness arrows lobbed at Michelle Obama, another extremely accomplished person.  We also know how, after being targeted early as an ‘angry Black woman,’ Michelle Obama has retreated into what should have been uncontroversial cause-championships that, nonetheless, have been attacked by right-wing [and yes, racist] opponents of her husband’s Presidency.

What could we expect from a Melania Trump First-Ladyship?  My guess:  nothing. 

[The Trumps’ NYC apartment.  One wonders if the butler issues sunglasses at the door and if Versailles ever issued a cease-and-desist order.]

Melania Trump would be a throwback, at best, to a Ladybird Johnson proponent of wildflowers.  Maybe, if we want to push up the calendar, to Barbara and Laura Bush’s courageous affirmation that children’s reading is a good thing.  I’ve seen a couple of opinion pieces comparing her, potentially, to Jacqueline Kennedy, in terms of glamorous style.  Really?  Has anyone looked at her gala outfits? Or the Trumps’ gold-slathered apartment?  Or her naming (or acquiescence in such) her Trump-spawned son ‘Barron’?  (I suspect this is more the Donald’s doing, as his child with Marla Maples was named ‘Tiffany.’)  Michelle Obama has tried and, I think, largely succeeded in showcasing affordable, achievable (to middle- and upper-middle-class people, at least) style in her own fashion choices and in those she has made for her daughters.  There is nothing on record about Melania Trump that suggests she has taste, much less deeply (or even shallowly) held convictions about women’s capacities and agencies.

[Not sure where or when this photo was taken, but Hillary looks conventionally nice, complete with Barbara Bush pearls, while Melania, albeit glamorous, is all about jewelry-enhancing cleavage.  I suspect her necklace and bracelets may be the real stuff, like the kind apple-of-daddy’s-eye stepdaughter Ivanka sells, as opposed to the tacky costume jewelry Melania ‘designs’ and shills on QVC.]

[Left: Melania Trump brand stretch ‘crystal’ bracelet (also available in gold tone) -- $23.10.  Right: Ivanka Trump brand diamond bracelet -- $10,900.00.  On second thought, maybe Melania’s on to something.  I’d rather pay 23 bucks for ugly jewelry than 10K plus.]

Indeed, Melania’s few ‘interviews’ present her as the perfect Stepford wife.  She outdoes Marco Rubio in repeating a few talking points, verbatim (‘Donald respects women’ [in response to questions about his misogynist comments] . . . ‘He wants to keep the country safe’ [in responses to questions about Trump’s plan to stop all Muslims at the border]), no matter whom the interlocutor, what the venue.  Maybe she’s just stupid, but more probably, she believes it’s in her self-interest to regurgitate her husband’s verbal diarrhea.  She’s probably correct.

[I hereby refrain, under peine forte et dure, from ventriloquist jokes, including how ventriloquist dummies are operated.  After all, are we sure which is which?]

If she becomes first lady, Melania Trump evidently would do nothing to advance women’s causes, refugees’ causes, children’s causes, minorities’ causes, health causes, or wildflower causes. She would do nothing on any front to add useful pillow talk to the Donald’s egotistical, dictatorial wet dreams, unless reassuring him that his stubby little fingers are huuuuuge is useful.

This—plus everything else—is the problem with Melania.